The key may not be what you think

Many people innocently ask, “How many people have you rescued?” The limitation of this question is in their inherent superficial timeline. The moment a woman decides to break away from her abuse and bondage is a dynamic moment riddled with the complexities of trauma and emotional dichotomies. The moment is often not a dramatic one of breaking down a door and running. They are often numb, slowly moving through the physicality of leaving as if experiencing their movements under water. One foot in front of the next. Belongings in a bag. Walk out the door. For some, the decision is spurred by immense hurt, anger, or fear after a last-straw occurrence of violent abuse. Then, it’s the tears that trigger their bravery to leave. Whatever this moment looks like for each individual, it is just that—only a moment.

True, sustaining freedom isn’t obtained by a single moment.

That choice to leave exploitation behind must be made many times over again. The process of exploitation to empowerment takes repeated encouragement, support, and recommitment before the roots of freedom can sustainability take hold. Even in the most mundane and typical life stories there will be grief. In the stories that include trauma, like in the case of those we work with, grief is compounded. There is no guarantee that the minute they exit the sex industry that their life will magically run smoothly. In fact, it’s more of a guarantee that it won’t.

Through the job skills classes we teach, the employment opportunities we open, counseling, financial assistance, and family support, we are constantly keeping our eyes on the goal of developing one vital tool: resiliency.

It’s natural to revert back to old habits when faced with great challenge. We all do this. Diets fly out the window of a stressful work week. Co-dependency reemerges amidst family conflict. Negative attitudes return with exhaustion and women formally stuck in the sex industry often return back to that abusive, controlling environment when their world seems to be out of control or when finances grow desperate.

Our students are going to experience challenge, and it’s normal that they don’t immediately choose healthy solutions to overcome those challenges. The muscle to make healthy choices is atrophied after years of living without the freedom to make choices for themselves. In time, we help her exercise her choice muscle. We practice together. We provide helpful routines and tips and tools just as any other coach would. Eventually, her health becomes evident as we watch the difference in how she approaches roadblocks and hardships. Instead of reacting in pain or fear, she shows off the resiliency of her healthy muscles. She pulls her choice from a place of empowerment, health, and freedom to overcome or endure the strife and continues forward.

Resiliency is one of the most obvious indicators of empowerment.

It proves that even though challenge, stress, and even additional trauma may attack, she will not be overcome by their sorrow. Instead, her freedom will sustain because it is not being propped up by an outsider’s well-wishes. It is now a strong muscle is held within her own self.

Resiliency is the key to sustaining freedom.