A Small Gift Leads to Great Hope

If there is one common thread that connects each of our student's stories, it is the search for a savior. Most women who find themselves in the sex industry in Pattaya are hoping that on the other side of the abuse they suffer there will be a long term-relationship with a man who loves them and provides for them. I'm sure you don't need to be convinced that this is an empty hope.

If there is one common thread that connects the staff, volunteers, and supporters of Not Abandoned, it is the desire to see these women rescued. Most of us have at one time or another fantasized about swooping in with pockets full of cash, educational opportunities, and job offers, and single handedly (and heroically) saving these women from their heartbreaking situations. But if you have been involved in our work for any length of time, you will realize that this too is usually an empty hope. It's not that we can't make a difference. It's that change is usually a lot slower and less predictable then our savior complexes would like to admit.

Lek* came to Pattaya three years ago. She had recently given birth to a beautiful girl, and with no husband in the picture, was looking for the means to support her child. In the short term she would do whatever she had to, but what Lek really wanted was to find a man who would love her and support her. Out of this desperation, she ended up as a freelance sex worker.

We met Lek only a few months after she started. She had a very strong personality. She had a biting sarcasm that didn't quite manage to hide her big heart. You could see that she had experienced a lot of hurt in her life, and that she was trying to protect herself from more hurt. In spite of this, she hadn't yet succeeded in killing her hope for true love. We welcomed her into our community, where she attended English and baking classes. She stood out for her artistry and attention to detail, quickly becoming a star at baking. Our savior senses were tingling! But Lek was also sporadic in her commitment with us. She would come for a few classes, then be gone for a month. She ended up starting a long-term relationship with one of her customers, and for a month or two it seemed to go well, only to have the relationship end. She went back to sex work but she also came back to classes and was showing great potential! Then, another boyfriend relationship came along and left. This story repeated itself several times and we began to feel a little down about her progress. As Lek's "saviors," we proved incapable of performing a heroic rescue. Then, the situation got worse. Lek disappeared on us again.

We received a panicked call from her Singapore. She had decided to take a "job offer" there without telling anyone. This job ended up being a trafficking trap. On top of this, she had gotten caught by the police and was being deported, authorities giving her a few days to leave the country on her own accord. Lek would have to pay for her own ticket home or the police would intervene more dramatically. She needed our help. We have an emergency fund for extreme situations like this and based on our relationship and the urgency of the situation, we helped her secure her ticket home.

Now back in Thailand, a fellow student approached Lek about working at a restaurant with her. Lek said yes. It wasn't easy for her to accepting this regular job because the pay would just barely support her and her daughter, but it was better than nothing. Mostly, she was still longing for a man loving her unconditionally. This wasn't a fix-all that gave her a better life, it was only a small step, but it was a good one!

Lek has now been at her job for 1 year. She is still attending our classes as often as her work schedule allows and she still shows so much potential for greater things! We are optimistic that as we expand our in-house businesses, she can be one of the women we hire full-time. There is also an opportunity for her to choose a service job with an Accor Hotel now that we have begun an official partnership with the company chain. The next step in her story isn't yet known, but we are now beginning to tangible hope and progress toward freedom in Lek’s life.

As we celebrate the Christmas season, let's remember this message. Just as Jesus was born in poverty and obscurity, lacking any of the "markers" we would expect to find on a life destined for big things, so too our hope often appears too small, too fragile to produce anything real. We think that we need to do something bigger, flashier, more heroic...that the simple means of love, acceptance, and practical help are too weak to "save." However, sometimes the greatest impact is delivered by small packages. Sometimes real hope comes dressed as a baby, surrounded by farm animals, in a barn. Sometimes it’s the small steps, the little acts, that produce the change we all long for. Let's not shy away from the smallness that brings love, hope, and change to the people around us. Let's not wait for something flashier, but let's give the little, insignificant gifts that we can offer. Who knows? Maybe the little you have is all someone needs to make a fresh start?



From all of us at Not Abandoned, Merry Christmas!

*All names have been changed for privacy.